


The Most Tremendous Sex (the Trump Fic)

by Soft13



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Cursed, F/F, Gratuitous Smut, Kinky, Politics, Scat, Smut, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 09:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17020362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soft13/pseuds/Soft13
Summary: Yaz finds out another one of the Doctor's kinks. Another cursed fic for the Discord --- after all, what's more cursed than Trump?





	The Most Tremendous Sex (the Trump Fic)

Yasmin searched the TARDIS hallways. Once again, she was struggling to find her girlfriend. This damn TARDIS seemed to be infinite, and it kept rearranging itself anyway.

After several minutes of searching, she heard noises in one of the rooms — an angry man and woman fighting. The Doctor must have been watching some soap again, the sap!

Yaz quickly knocked on the door, then walked in. The Doctor was sitting in front of a monitor, huddled in a blanket. Her face was flushed, and her breath was short when she asked Yaz why she came in so quickly.

“Well, it’s not like I caught you in a wank session or anything,” Yaz joked. “It’s just Trump and Clinton.

“Why are you watching that anyway?” Yaz added. “The election was two years ago!”

“About that…” the Doctor started.

Yaz moved closer to the Doctor and gestured for her to lift up the blanket so she could join in. That’s when she saw the Doctor’s hands were down her trousers.

“Do you have...a thing for Clinton?” Yaz asked, quizzically.

“No, of course not!” the Doctor replied. “That’d be silly!”

Yaz thought about other possible explanations. It couldn’t be…..

“What’s your hand doing down in your trousers, then?”

“Yaz...have you ever thought about dyeing your hair orange?” the Doctor asked.

“You have a thing for Trump? Really?” Yaz asked, her mouth wide with disbelief.

The Doctor took her hands out of her trousers, leaned forward in her chair, and put her head in her now-sticky hands. She moved her knees up on the chair and sat in a fetal position, until she decided to let herself roll off the chair like a fly egg rolled in dung.

“Oh, honey…” Yaz whispered. “My roly-poly….” 

The Doctor was sobbing, still shaped like a dungy fly egg.

“You think I’m a freak!”

“No, I don’t,” Yaz said, as she started stroking the Doctor’s hair, which was sticking due to the Time Lord’s ejaculate. “I was just a little surprised is all.”

“Actually,” Yaz continued, “I’ve always wanted to dye my hair orange too.”

A smile quickly formed on the Doctor’s face.

“Really? I have an idea!!!” the Doctor beamed. She was back to her bubbly self again. “How comfortable are you with altering your appearance? I was thinking we shave your head and get a wig, or cut most of your hair and spray it orange, draw makeup lines around your mouth, put on some powdered makeup, get you a suit, surgically alter the size of your hands, nothing too extre—”

“That sounds amazing,” Yaz said, her voice teeming with lust.

So they did just that.

Yaz’s face was powdered a light orangeish color. Her hair was a handsome brighter orange. The Doctor drew lines around her mouth, making it look like a tiny delectable anus. Her phalange bones were cut to make her hands smaller. She wore a big, ill-fitting black suit and a red tie that was tied too long.

“Mr. President....” the Doctor said.

Yasmin put on her best attempt at a breathy Trump voice: “Mmm, baby, are you a Russian? ‘Cause I’ll be colluding with you in bed tonight.”

The Doctor nearly came just then. Yaz hadn’t even touched her yet. Damn, she was good.

“It’s going to be the best sex you’ve ever had, tremendous!” Yaz said, while moving her hands in the air like she was playing a concertina. “I’ll give you a yuuuuge orgasm. You’ll come bigly, like no one’s ever seen!”

“You’ll come so much, you’ll say ‘I’m sick of coming!’” Yaz continued.

“Ohhhh, Donny,” the Doctor said lustfully with a breathiness of her own. “Grant me a presidential pardon, please. This First Time Lady has been naughty….”

“We’re going to make the most tremendous sex! Believe me!” Yaz cried before lunging toward the Doctor and kissing her passionately.

The Doctor immediately moaned into Yaz’s anus mouth.

“I’m winning again, President,” the Doctor said.

Yaz took off her ill-fitted giant red tie and used it to restrain the Doctor’s hands. ("Lock her up," Yaz said.) Yaz then ripped off the Doctor’s trousers and pants and started giving the alien the best oral sex she’d ever received.

“Oh, fuck! Make Gallifrey Great Again!” the Doctor cried.

Yaz caught a glimpse of a water bottle by the bed and suddenly had an amazing idea.

“Do you want me to play with your shithole, little Melania?” Yaz said seductively.

“Please,” the Doctor begged.

Yaz grabbed the bottle and slowly started working it through the Doctor’s shit hole. She thrusted it in and out, gaining speed.

“Oh, fuck my shithole!” the Doctor screamed.

“Do you like that, little Marco? Little Marco and your little water bottle?” Yaz whispered.

The Doctor only responded with a moan.

Yaz took the bottle out and held it in her now-small hands. She ripped off the cap and started flailing it in the air, squirting water around the room and making her girlfriend even wetter.

Then she put it up the Doctor’s shithole and squeezed, the squirt making the Doctor squirm with ecstasy.

~

“Mr. President...can I make a request?”

“Always,” Yaz replied, orange hair flopping in her face.

“There’s a constitution in the drawer...I want you to do something with it,” the Doctor said, her voice hot red with desire.

“What does my little First Lady want?”

“I want you to shit on it, Donny,” the Doctor said “Shit on that constitution with your shithole.”

So Yaz pulled down her big black slacks and defecated on the U.S. Constitution. She then rubbed the brown squish over the Doctor’s belly and put some of it up the Doctor’s own shithole.

Fuck, the Doctor had never felt more oneness with her girlfriend. She wondered if this was what human Christians meant when they talked about husbands and wives becoming “one flesh.”

~

As the couple’s antics wore down, the Doctor knew this couldn’t be the only time.

“Can we do this again?” she asked.

“No!” the Yaz-Trump hybrid responded. “You’re fired!”

The Doctor softly kissed her girlfriend, then winked before she replied: “Fake news."


End file.
